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In How to Deal with Marriage’s Little Frustrations, I share with you a few steps that I use whenever I come across those little bumps in the road of my relationship.
It is often said, “Write what you know”. Well, marriage is one of those things for me. I’m not claiming to be some relationship guru, because I’m not, not even close! But it has been my everyday life for the past fifteen years.
Last week, Derek and I made a stop in our favorite little mountain town, Blowing Rock, on our way home from Kentucky. After a wonderful lunch, we went for a stroll along Main Street. A store owner walked out and said, “Hello, Newlyweds!” I had to laugh and replied with “Hardly, fifteen years!”
I had to ask Derek, “What does that mean?” Is it because we were holding hands or did we just resonate an overall feeling of happiness? Maybe she was just trying to think of a creative way to get us into her store!
Our marriage is not perfect, though, and it never will be no marriage is. There will always be bumps in the road not because that’s marriage but because that’s life. Bumpy roads happen whether you’re married or not.
Some of those bumps are major and others are little annoying ones that creep up from time to time. Well, the other day I faced one of those little ones. A disappointment, a little frustration that had me more annoyed than anything but it definitely was nagging at me. It had me thinking about How to Deal with Marriage’s Little Frustrations.
I remember in my early days of marriage when those little frustrations would creep up. I’m not going to lie. I didn’t always handle them well. I was in my early twenties and I could definitely throw a tantrum over little things at times.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to act more maturely over these things. It doesn’t always work but here are a few things that I TRY to implement.
Resist the Knee-Jerk Reaction
I think this is actually the hardest for me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Scorpio or the traces of Irish blood but I definitely got a little fire in me. It is so natural for me to flare up that I have to be very conscious not to do just that. I make a point not to react right away but to absorb everything about the situation.
Look at the Whole Situation
Look at the situation from both sides. Not just yours, but your spouse’s, too. This is often when I reach some clarity. Understanding your spouse’s side of things is so important. Remember that there are always two sides to every story. You may not agree with it but trying to understand it makes a difference.
Calmly Voice Your Opinion
Your spouse will be more open to working things out with you when you calmly communicate things with them over yelling at them. I know that isn’t always easy depending on the subject. I can very easily go the reverse on this step but as I’ve gotten older, I really do try to go the calmer route.
Work Together to Find a Solution
It’s important to work with each other and not against each other. Going for that “win” will only have you losing in the long run. Relationships are about compromises and what’s best for both of you,
Be Patient and Loving
I often say that patience is not a virtue God chose to bestow on me. It is something I struggle with every single day, especially in my marriage. It’s worth it, though, when I choose to implement it. It makes getting past these little frustrations a lot easier.
Above all, be loving with your spouse. Don’t forget or let them forget that you love them. You are not enemies. You are partners, lovers, and best friends. So many times these frustrations come from love and we forget that.
My husband has a very demanding job. It gets frustrating and honestly, I haven’t been the most patient spouse, lately. I know that he works hard because he loves me and wants to provide a good life for us. He’s also very talented at what he does and I know even though his job brings him many frustrations, deep down he really loves it.
So I choose to be supportive and I try to be understanding when it creeps into our personal time. It doesn’t always work but I do try. It makes it a lot easier, though, knowing his motivations and that is love.
I hope that these steps on How to Deal with Marriage’s Little Frustrations might help you the same way that they often help me the next time a little bump in the road comes along.
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